this is my life (depricated)

DEPRICATED

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 13:11:22 GMT

This blog is now depricated. My personal website will now host my random thoughts and comments.

Please visit my website: www.mikesoh.com

Editted:
My website is syndicated. Point your RSS Aggrigator to:

http://www.mikesoh.com/backend/main.rss

What a wonderful day!

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 19:38:06 GMT

It's unseasonably warm outside today! I've been enjoying my time between meetings by reading a pretty good book. The Life of Pi is about this young boy that follows all these different faiths (from Christianity, Muslim, Buddhism, and Islam). I recommend a pick-up.

One of the things that has made this season of my life interesting is the ability to now read books...for enjoyment! Before, I couldn't pick up a book like Harry Potter without having to stop and study. I think I'm going to try to read more during my attempts to flee from my computer life. ;-)

In an unrelated note and as by way of reminder, I will be blogging more from my personal website http://www.mikesoh.com. Please visit it for all the latest pictures, blog entries, editorials, and whatever else I think of.

Interesting conversation point: 100 pennies is actually worth LESS than a dollar bill

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 14:06:33 GMT

A group of us went to Hard Times Cafe to do their 25-cent wings (which I highly recommend). We had a conversation about equity investments and market fluxuations when we came upon the topic of coins. What came out of the conversation was that a dollar bill is worth more than 100 pennies.

Have you ever tried to pay something with pennies? Seriously, get 1,000 pennies and go to a 7-Eleven or any other store and try to buy something with pennies. Do you realize that they will not take your money? Even though you have the same amount in pennies, they will not take it because they don't want to spend the time to count it.

So the value of the penny has gone down. It would be interesting to see how much and the ratios. Because most people are willing to count, say, 10-20 pennies. But not 1,000!

FRIENDS ARE COMING BACK!!!!!!

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 13:22:48 GMT

Friends is coming back on TV!

I'm so frickin excited!!!!

This has made my day.

Computer crash recovered...now running a new distro!

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 21:21:16 GMT

It's been a pretty eventful week. In my attempt to do a simple re-install turned into a crash, coupled with data loss, turning into a distro change. I was running Fedora Core and now I'm running a debian-based system called ubuntu linux.

For the most part, I like this MUCH better than Fedora. With Fedora, I constantly had to reinstall the whole distro because they would come out with a new version. Even though ubuntu is still bleeding edge, it supports older versions.

I've also found the community of support for ubuntu much nicer and more supportive than that of the Fedora community. Not really sure what the difference is, but for the most part, I'm finding the speed to be pretty impressive.

I've copied everything over and now about to reinstall windows...so that I can play The Matrix Online.

So that's it for now. You can all thank epiphanyofhope for reminding me to post. Just as an FYI, I will be making a transition to start blogging on my personal website: http://www.mikesoh.com.

That's all for now!

IT'S OFFICIAL!!!!

Fri, 06 Jan 2006 20:14:26 GMT

After 6 intense months of support raising, I've officially been released to assignment! I'm very excited to be on staff with GCM here at Maryland Christian Fellowship. And I'm already getting my feet wet. :-)

Next stop, the presidency.

vacation coming to an end...

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 14:45:32 GMT

I've spent the past 7 days taking it really easy...Watching TV and movies for the most part. Today, I'm going to take a break from all that and soak in some of the culture of Washington, D.C. I'm going to spend the majority of today in DC, going from one museum to another. I'm hoping to make this a light day, but with a lot of reading.

I really need to get away from my computer...

Happy new year!

Wow, how about that...

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 21:30:54 GMT

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	7.6
Mind:	8.3
Body:	7.1
Spirit:	9.6
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	4.6
Finance:	7.7
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

According to the site:

The lies we believe

Thu, 22 Dec 2005 00:33:18 GMT

I've started reading a book about Theophostic ministry. The book, for the most part, covers why people act the way they do and how do you free yourself, and others, from lie-based thinking.

I'm finding it to be my cup of tea. Some of the basic principles are those of which I already know: people react not based on the circumstances but because of how we interpret and process the circumstances.

What I'm finding amazing is the book's honesty toward the spiritual realm.

All of us have things in our lives that we're not proud of. Myself included. And the idea behind theophostic ministry is to reveal the truth behind the experience that haunt us, that keeps up from being more Christ-like.

And I think one of the biggest lies we believe are the ones that we create ourselves. I have found that we, as a people, are very stubborn people. Stubborn not out of the sake of being right, but stubborn out of the sake of being wrong. Rarely have I met a person who was willing to be wrong, but more than willing to be right.

This mentality has, unfortunately, not only crossed into the culture, but has become twisted so that we feel that it is wrong to tell someone else that they were wrong. Unless, of course, we are right.

One of the greatest examples of this is the case of homosexuality. Proponents of the idea that homosexuality is "okay" argue that people should have the right to have sex however they want, without regard to social consequences. Most of these proponents negate the widely available facts. When asked for further information, most retreat to, "What gives you the right to tell someone how and how not they should act?"

Hidden behind these words is the lie: we cannot tell someone else is wrong, unless they disagree with me.

This happened once to me about two years ago now. Several other R.A. candidates and I sat a table, discussing this very issue. The topic immediately turned to "tolerance." As the night went on, I continue to express my view with facts and data, that no one else at the table was either willing to debate or refute. Finally, someone asked me, "Mike, I don't know if I can have a decent conversation with you if you can be tolerant of people who don't believe the same things you do."

My reply was, "You see, that's the problem. I'm still willing to have the conversation, even though I may never agree with you. I'm still willing to sit down with you, have coffee with you, treat you as a human being. Why can't you live up to the same standard you hold me to?"

Reluctantly, there was no reply.

The conversation wasn't about homosexuality. It wasn't even about tolerance. If it was, the other R.A. should have been able to understand her mistake.

The battle we fight is not of these things. It is a much deeper issue. I believe we all long to be accepted. But only under our terms. We want to be loved, but only under certain conditions.

That, my friends, is the biggest lie. We can't have it both ways. We can't want acceptance a certain way and demand we get it that way. We can't give someone the trust in controlled experiments. By doing so we are guilty of the very thing we are trying to avoid.

Those who have been successfully married will tell you that the success to their relationship was honest communication. I believe that marriage is not about love. It's about trust. It's about vulnerability. It's about giving someone the ability to completely tear you apart. Love is found when that vulnerability and trust are embraced, not taken advantage of.

It is true that love never fails. But people do. And I beginning to wonder if we are confusing the two.

YAY for decisions!!

Fri, 16 Dec 2005 13:26:19 GMT

After two long weeks of prayer, number crunching, getting advice and counsel, I'm beginning to realize that God wants me back on campus sooner. In order to accomplish this, I've lowered my support goal substantially. Now that my goal is lowered, I'm literally less than $100 a month away from coming back to ministry, full-time!

Its really exciting for me because I get to live out my dream! Thank you all for your prayers and your support! You can still use the Support Mike! button, which can download at my donor web site.

That's all for now...I'm hoping to do a real update soon. :-)

40% and a huge decision...

Tue, 06 Dec 2005 20:43:27 GMT

This past week, I raised 40% of my total support (a little over $2100). With me running out of people to talk with, I now am faced with one of the most difficult decisions in my life. Do I trust God to provide people and the funds necessary to raise more of my support? Or do I trust God that this is what he had planned and go on part-time staff, take on a part-time job and continue to raise support on the side? Or do I move to a full-time job and completely volunteer?

Within these questions lie more decisions and within those decisions lie more questions.

I've never had to wrestle with such a complex decision before.

I'm not sure what I want to do. I'm not sure what God is asking me to do.

The more that I pray, I feel that God tells me that he has a story for me. I'm not sure if that story is just beginning or just ending. But either way, I will need to decide.

I'm praying for wisdom and the bigger picture.

The other side of heaven.

the power of databases

Sun, 27 Nov 2005 13:52:26 GMT

How much of a dork am I?!

Man, you know you're a dork when you use bugzilla to keep track of everything going on in your life.

I've installed bugzilla on my computer so that I can keep on top of the things I keep forgetting. Like following up with my doctor, calling to get something repaired, etc. It's too funny...

Man, I love mysql.

Follow-up: MySQL Database

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 12:52:05 GMT

I've been working on a MySQL database for quite some time now (like two weeks) and it's starting to really come together. I can't believe how efficient this guy is. I'm probably going to start moving the data next week during thanksgiving. Once it's up and running (and usable), I'll release it GPL.

Ew...popped zits

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 04:06:38 GMT

You know what I realized? I never posted my MRI results...I should get on that...but first, I have to confess something that I'm rather ashamed of. Okay, brace yourself because things get quite graphic after here.

You've been warned.

Turn back now if you're queasy...

Really, I mean it.

So I was in Starbucks the other day and I go to the bathroom to find a huge ZIT! It was pretty gross and discussing. But here's the worst part.

Yeah...I popped it.

That's not the worse part...

When it popped, all that gross stuff splattered all over the mirror...and I didn't clean it up! I feel so bad...

(You know, there are moments when life gets too crazy and discouraging. I've learned to take small moments where I can see that life is still huge.)

(More random musings below, because things are still crazy...)
So Ted and I are walking toward the Physics building the other day and we strike up a conversation about the current interest rates in Japan and how the foreign market is having a stifling impact on the economy. When I turn and say to him, "You know, if I were ever be convicted of a crime, I think I'd want it to be extortion."

Ted: Extortion? Why extortion?

Me: I dunno. I think it sounds cool. I mean think about it. "Mike Soh was indicted today for...(in a really sexy voice) extortion."

Ted: Huh...I've always liked "blackmail" myself.

Me: Huh...what's the difference between blackmail and extortion?

Ted: Hmm...we should look it up.

Me: Huh...

Ted: This is pretty sad. It's like in Office Space where those guys had to look up "money laundering" in the dictionary.

Me: Well, I think if you want to commit a crime, you really should know what you're doing. I mean, I don't want to end up with like with "Conspiracy to commit littering" or something...although "conspiracy" sounds pretty cool too. I think I'd like to be a part of a conspiracy to commit something...not littering but...

Ted: Maybe get best of both worlds. "Conspiracy to commit extortion?"

Me: Nah...then it sounds like you wimped out and didn't go through with it.

Ted: You're right.

Me: And you know, extortion is really the kind of thing you want to do with other people. It's more fun that way.

Ted: Yeah, you always want to be with other people when you commit a crime.

Me: Yeah...

So, yeah, let's take a poll. If you were to be convicted of a crime, what crime would it be? Comment below.

mysql, php, and 12 spreadsheets

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 15:13:52 GMT

What do you get when you cross a disgruntled, organized person and 12 spreadsheets and a lot of data?

A MySQL database of course!

I've started work on an intuitive and comprehensive database where it will keep track of all of my support contacts. So far, so good. I've got to tell you, I really need an HTML refresher course! So much has changed in HTML design since I last cared. I'm really starting to get the hang of Cascading Style Sheets. A lot of my code is redundant...I'm very very much aware of that fact. It's annoying because I like writing clean and efficient code.

On top of everything else, I officially have no money to spend. Really. I can't even afford to put gas in my car. I'm walking everywhere these days. It's probably a good thing. I could stand to use some exercise.

Well I'm off to my 40 minute walk to church. Wish me luck.

No shortcuts

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 03:39:41 GMT

I've had a lot of conversations this week having to do with trust. And here's what it boils down to: Trust is gained by giving someone the opportunity to hurt you and they don't.

And think this is why I find myself not trusting God at times. I think when God doesn't go through in the way that I would like, I cannot trust him because he has hurt me.

That's the harsh reality. God knows better. What hurts me in the short-term will hopefully grow into the long-term.

I've really been challenging myself with that. When I got my MRI results yesterday, I got a dose of good news and bad news. Everyone ACROSS THE BOARD has repeatedly told me, "Mike, you need more sleep. You are too stressed. You need to take time off."

And you know what? I'm still not taking time off...I'm still stressed. And I'm still not sleeping well.

The biggest thing that God is teaching me...is to just trust him more. I want to be able to let it go. But I can't.

I will lay it down.
And I will let it go.
And I will let you in between me and all these things
Just to feel you near me.

Is John Mayer a dystopia?

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 20:38:56 GMT

You know how you listen and listen to a song and you don't get it's meaning until sometime when you're really not paying attention and all the sudden the lyrics make sense?

This happened with me today with John Mayer's song No Such Thing (2001). While the song has a very obvious upbeat tempo, I started to really listen to the lyrics and began to wonder, "Is Mayer being sarcastic with his lyrics and being satirical with his music?"

The line in his chorus "I just found out there's no such thing as the real world, just a lie you've got to rise above" makes me think that Mayer is attempting to be satirical by the use of creating a dystopia. The whole song premises around the idea that in high school, everything looks "black and white" and you're on the "so called right track." His critique of "boys and girls" that "read all the books" tells how knowledge is not based in education.

I think this song is painfully honest, even though it's highly satirical. The part where he admits that he thinks he's got more to offer than he's given seems to underline this. He admits this as he compares himself with the dreams of the upper class, signified in the song by the "prom kings" and the "drama queens."

The ray of hope that this dystopia gives is that there is "something better on the other side."

(Sometimes, I hate having an English degree. But sometimes I love it because I can use words like "dystopia" and "signify.")

Stress...stress...stress...

Fri, 04 Nov 2005 20:26:30 GMT

Everyone I've talked to this week, from Jeff to my doctor, to even my nutritionists all say that I am way too stressed and that I need more time off.

So yesterday, I did something very naughty. Instead of working, I played hookie and watched Top Gun. (Okay, so I didn't play hookie, but you get the idea.)

And it was really relaxing. I haven't just sat down and just enjoyed a movie in a really long time.

I think I am too stressed. I think the analogy still is true: "I'm trying to juggle 10 balls when I don't even know how to juggle."

So the verse of the week was and continues to be: "Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

This is worth a cross-post

Wed, 02 Nov 2005 11:58:14 GMT

A couple of days ago, I put up a link to a talk a Doctor did about God's Sovereignty. I've decided to cross-post the transcript because the talk is so powerful.

Our son, Matt, is a sophomore in college now. He's participating, as a matter of fact, in a program in Irian Jaya. It's called "The Edge Adventure." That's a small, fairly-new program, and academically, it's really quite rigorous. The students probably write more papers in this semester than they do if they were at home. But the papers are written out in longhand, and they're written mostly by candlelight. Yet, most of the learning, as you might imagine, doesn't happen in the classroom, but instead comes from living among "Stone-Age" people and being fully immersed in a totally different perspective.

Matt's only been able to call home once in the three months, and that happened to be last Saturday. The first thing he mentioned was about the mail service. It is notoriously unreliable. Both Linda, my wife, and Laurie, his girlfriend, have sent him dozens, even scores of letters, but, for a time, Matt hadn't gotten any mail for about five weeks. Realizing in advance that this is going to be the situation, Linda and Laurie numbered their letters sequentially so that Matt would know if he's getting his mail, and if he's getting it in a timely fashion. And Matt says he got Laurie's letter number seven and then five weeks later he got her letter number 22. He didn't know what was in letters eight through 21, but when he read letter number 22, he knew that everything was okay. See, the details could be filled in later.

This also strikes me as a picture of our lives here in the States. We've read the first seven letters. We know where we've been. But we don't know yet what will be in letter number eight. Those things are the future. That's the tomorrow, and some of the days ahead look very challenging, I think, for us.

Some of us worry about our kids. For example, how are they going to turn out? Some of us worry about college costs, and we hope desperately that Christ returns before we have to start paying for the university. Almost all of us worry about the future of medicine and the daunting challenges that face us there. But the good news is the Good News. God's a postman. He's already delivered letter number 22 to each of us in his own handwriting.

And this is what my letter said. He said, "Dick, you'll be happy to know that it all turns out just fine." God's not making specific promises to us that life might not be tough in the interim, but He does say this: "You can trust me. You can trust my power. You can trust my care. It will all end just fine." The sovereignty of God in the rest of our lives.

Perhaps by now some of you have seen this little piece of paper. We ran across it on the East Coast. I was speaking at a Christian conference center there, and I understand it circulated around the United States to a certain degree. But there's surely some people here who haven't seen it yet. And I want to share this with you because there's more tonnage of importance per square millimeter in this than you can possibly imagine. And this is what it says:

"Good morning. This is God. I will be handling all your problems today. I will not need your help. So have a good day."

Think about it. Memorize it. Say it every morning before you get out of bed.

I want to draw your attention to three passages of Scripture. These will be fairly familiar to you. You can turn to them, if you want, but I'll kind of summarize them fairly quickly. The first is Psalm 37. I'll give you segments of verses one through eight. It says:

"Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong. Trust in the Lord and do good. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in him and He will do this. He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noon-day sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him. Do not fret when men succeed in their ways. Do not fret. It only leads to evil."

Now three times in those eight verses it says, "Do not fret." What does that mean when it says, "Do not fret?" It means, don't fret. Matthew 6:34, it comes right after Matthew 6:33: "Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." 6:34 says, "Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

Now what does that mean when it says, "Do not worry about tomorrow?" What it means is, don't worry. Philippians 4:6, it says: "Don't be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." My question is, what does it mean when it says, "Don't be anxious?" It means don't be anxious.

Now we read those passages and we say, "Aren't those comforting verses? Isn't that wonderful of God to provide us that encouragement right at our point of need?" And we get up from our table, we walk out in the hall and we start worrying, and we start fretting, and we start being anxious. We all do it — 100 percent of the people in this room do it. I do it, too. And yet, the Scripture says, "Don't. Trust me. Be still. Wait patiently for me. The reason you worry is you don't know who I am. You just don't see clearly enough yet."

There's a favorite verse of mine. It happens to be in 1 Corinthians 13. I don't know how this gets slid into the "love chapter," but it says, "Now we see through a glass darkly, but then we shall see face to face. Now we know in part, but then we shall know, even as we also are known."

What if we could go to the other side of eternity, beyond the line of eternity, and just sit in the presence of God for 10 minutes, just 10 minutes, and then come back here and finish out the rest of our lives? What would it change about the rest of your lives if you had 10 minutes to do that? It would change everything. The change would be total, and it would be complete.

Well, as a matter of fact, because Focus on the Family is so incredibly close to God, the Almighty agreed to throw in a door prize for this group — this gathering — just a once-in-eternity opportunity here. If you'll look underneath your chairs, one of you has underneath there a 10-minute trip to heaven to spend that opportunity with God. As a matter of fact, somebody cheated. They checked their chair last night, and we already have a declared winner. His name is Joe. As a matter of fact, Joe's up there right now, and I want to tell you what Joe's going through.

See, here's Joe sitting with God. And this is what he first says to God. "God, I've got 10 minutes here with you. Let me ask you this: Do you know everything?" And God says, "Do you doubt it?" Joe says, "Well, well, no, but how do you do it? Doesn't it get all kind of mixed up in your head?" And God says, "I think you're getting the two of us confused there, Joe. You do that a lot, you know? You really shouldn't do that so much. Let me put it this way: Things get mixed up and chaotic in your head a lot, but not in mine. Joe, my car never runs out of gas. I've never been late for a plane. And when you try to balance the checkbook, every time you sit down to do it, I just can't bear to watch. So I distract myself by counting backwards...to infinity."

Joe says, "Could I see you answer some prayers?"

"Sure."

"Well, when?"

"I just did."

"What?"

"I just answered prayers."

"Well, whose prayers did you answer?"

"Well, actually I answered 924,000 prayers just then. Half the time people don't even know I'm doing it. I'm kind of tricky about some of this. A very high percentage of the prayers I answer are not even from adults. It's the kids, you know? They're the ones with the faith. When I answer their prayers, they usually see it right away."

"Well, what percentage of prayers that you just answered right now were from kids?"

"Well, to be precise, 42.57688493005998729609432547..."

"That's enough," Joe says. "That's enough."

Joe says, "How many stars are there?" God says, "Joe, you only have 10 minutes."

"Well, how many galaxies then?"

"Joe, you only have 10 minutes. But do you want to see me annihilate a galaxy?"

"Oh, sure, cool, that'd be great."

"Well, you see that one way out there toward the edge of space? It hasn't been discovered yet. Nobody will even miss it. I just made it because I like the way it sparkled. Watch this. There, you can't see it now, right?"

"How'd you do that?"

"You don't want to know. Ever heard of anti-matter?"

Joe says, "I'm a physician, you know." God says, "Is that supposed to impress me? I'm a physician, too. You want to compare credentials? Success rates? Diagnostic accuracy? Pick a topic, any topic."

Joe: "How much time do I have left?" God: "Just a few seconds. But of course, around here that costs me 50 trillion years, but in your case, it's just a few seconds."

Joe: "Do you watch me all the time?"

"Sure I do. Other people sometimes watch you, too. You're really quite an entertaining fellow."

Joe: "Medicine is getting kind of stressful these days."

"Yeah, so I noticed."

"What should I do about it?"

"Well, Joe, I'm glad you asked. One thing that would help a lot is if you were to stop using me as a last resort. Everything you need I've already provided. Trust me. Use my wisdom. Use my power. Pray. Joe, you really need to pray more. And love your patients. On your best day, I'll give you a great day. And on your worst days, I'll get you through it. I will always get you through it."

"God, one last question. How do I get down from here?"

[Joe:]"Oh, I guess that was a silly question. Hi, Honey. You'll never guess what just happened to me."

[Joe's wife:] "What? You look sunburned. You've been golfing again?"

"Oh, no, no, it's not golfing. Maybe you'd better sit down. I'll tell you all about it, but first, I think we'd better pray."

*******

If you were Joe, how would you walk the rest of your life? Might I suggest to you that everything that you do, every attitude that you had, every thought, every opinion about people and about time and about eternity and about human effort would be changed? We can't go to the other side and sit with God for 10 minutes, but we can know a lot more about him than we have previously settled for. And the best way, perhaps the only way, to go into an uncertain future is to trust in the sovereignty and the power and the majesty and the precision and the genius and the intimacy and the caring of an almighty God. No other approach will work. No other approach makes any sense whatsoever. And He says, "Put your hand in my hand and don't let go, not even for a second."

Let's look at some things that we know in medicine and astronomy and in physics, about the sovereignty of God. Look at the sun. If you took a pin head and you heated the head of that pin to the temperature of the core of the sun, it would kill every person within a 1,000 miles. Did you hear that?

Now let me ask you this: Could Jesus swallow that pin? Could God swallow that pin? Yes. The answer to that question is yes. Now somebody that is that powerful, what does that tell you about your ability to trust him in terms of his ability to do things that we can't even begin to imagine? Everything that you see out there in science and in astronomy and in cosmology or in quantum mechanics or in the human body or biology or chemistry or physics — God's fingerprints are all over it. And He's teaching us that we can trust him.

Let's look at black holes. Consider God and black holes. All galaxies have black holes. Our Milky Way galaxy apparently has many of them. The number of black holes in the universe might even be larger than the number of visible stars. To get a feeling for how intense a black hole is, to make a star into a black hole, you'd have to collapse the radius of our sun from 450,000 miles down to two miles, so it could fit in Manhattan, okay? Now a sun that had that kind of density would weigh more per teaspoon than Mount Everest does. That's what a black hole would be.

Now what is the sovereign God's opinion of a black hole? This isn't just an academic exercise. This teaches us about God, and you'd better listen because you're going to need this God in your future. We all are going to need a God that has this kind of power, and we can trust it.

Is God afraid of black holes? You know, as you get closer to a black hole, you finally get to the event horizon — what is called the event horizon. If you step one inch further, then you're gone. Nothing can escape once it's entered the event horizon.

Does God sometimes stand on the event horizon and sort of taunt a black hole? I mean, what happens if He sort of slips over the edge a little bit? Who wins in that tug of war? Does God win, or does the black hole win? What's the answer to that question? God wins. The answer to that question is God wins. There is nothing in the universe, there is nothing of created order that is more powerful than God.

Well, think of that. It is an amazing thing. I just have so much fun thinking about God and how He bullies the universe. I mean, He just does whatever He wants to do whenever He wants to do it. Now a God who's that powerful, can He handle your problems? Does He even need your help?

Let's look at numbers. What kind of mathematician is God? Do you know that the number of electrons that pass through a filament of an ordinary light bulb in a minute...did you get that? The number of electrons that pass through an ordinary filament of a light bulb in one minute equals the number of drops of water than flow over Niagara Falls in a century. Does God know how many electrons flow through a filament of a light bulb in one minute? He does. He counts them in his spare time. God has every…do you know there's 10 to the 80th elementary particles — protons, neutrons, electrons — in the observable universe? And God has every one of them mapped, every nanosecond. He nicknames them in His spare time.

The talking number — they call the talking number — it's the number of words spoken by humans since the dawn of time. Did God hear all of those? It's 10 to the 16th. Did God hear all of those? Yes, He did. He's got a record of them, except for the sins He forgot, or something, and then He forgot them.

The Coney Island number. Do you know what the Coney Island number is? It's 10 to the 20th. It's the number of grains of sand on the Coney Island beach —10 to the 20th. Does God know all those little grains of sand? Yes, He does. The Ice Age numbers — 10 to the 30th. That's the number of snow crystals necessary to form the Ice Age. Does God do math at this level? Yes, He does.

I want to talk about the human body a little bit because my time is running out rapidly. The human body has 10,000 trillion trillion atoms. That's greater than the number of stars in the universe. There are more than...a trillion of these atoms are replaced every one millionth of a second. Did you hear what I...every one millionth of a second, in your body more than one trillion atoms are replaced. Even though our bodies are indeed discrete units, we leak. Physically and metaphysically, we leak. In consequence, we share our physical existence with our neighbors, however remote.

What happened to the trillion trillion atoms in your body that turned over in the last one hour? In the last one hour a trillion trillion of your atoms turned over. What happened to those atoms? Look at your neighbor. That's where they are. Your neighbor's got them now. These atoms float off into space and then they roost in your neighbor for awhile — red, and yellow, black, and white. They are me and I am them. You might not like that, but it's the truth of the matter. Through common breathing, shared sneezes, sloughed skin, the jet stream, flowing rivers, and a myriad of other mixing devices, God brings us together, constantly and continuously. I would not doubt that some of the atoms, some of the carbon atoms that resided in our bodies, in our childhood frames, are now doing their similar work within the body of a child in Mongolia. God has them all mapped. He knows where they all are. He follows them around.

Take a deep breath. Everybody take a deep breath. When you do that you just inhaled 150 million air molecules that Jesus breathed. I didn't read this from a Christian book. I read it from a physics book. The math is very well worked out. See me afterwards. I can explain it to you. Take a deep breath again — 150 million air molecules that Jesus breathed. I choose to view this as Jesus doing mouth-to-mouth resuscitation on me all the time. My advice to you, if you want to do something you don't want God to see you, you better hold your breath.

Every cell has a trillion atoms. Okay, you've got the little tiny atoms and then you've got the cell. Every cell has about a trillion atoms. Well, we have anywhere from 10 to 100 trillion cells in the human body. And you guessed it. We're making over a trillion cells every day. The lining of your GI tract turns over about every two days, faster if you eat Mexican food. The lining of our skin turns over every two to four weeks, and I read recently that the average human being sloughs like 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime. And that's why old sofas weigh so much.

Red blood cells. You make 2-to-10 million red blood cells every second. If you take your red blood cells out and line them side by side, they'd go round the earth at the equator four times. You think God paused when He made the red blood cell? I think He did, knowing that His son would have to shed this for the remission of our sins. I did it to Him. What do you think about that? I don't want to overly spiritualize that, but does one red blood cell, like, have my name on it? What's the divine value of one red blood cell? Is that sufficient to cover my sin? I think it is. This is the God that we serve.

And this God is a capable God. And this is the kind of God who is not only powerful, He is not only precise, He is not only a mathematician…The level of precision in a created order is 10 to the 10th to the 127th. That's impossible. There are no numbers like that — 10 to the 10th to the 127th. This is the God that we serve.

Why don't we trust Him more? Why don't we pray more? Why do we balance the whole thing on our shoulders? We're not going to get away with that in the future. He is so gracious. He is so patient. He is so intimate. He is so personal. He created us because He loves us, because He wants a relationship with us, and because He wants his glory to be seen.

I think the most powerful part about this talk was the dialogue between Joe and God. And Dr. Richard Swenson poses a very powerful question: "If you were Joe, how would you walk the rest of your life? We can't go to the other side and sit with God for 10 minutes, but we can know more about him than we have previously settled for. And the best way, perhaps the only way, to go into an uncertain future is to trust in the sovereignty and the power of the majesty of the almighty God."

It's worth a download if you already don't have it. I've saved it on my iPod.

a great teaching...

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 22:40:24 GMT

I was listening to this broadcast earlier today. I found it very cool. It's called God's Sovereignty and you can download the MP3. I particularly like the conversation he has with God...:-)

Okay, a long, overdue update

Fri, 28 Oct 2005 01:46:06 GMT

So it's been a long week since I've posted...here's the latest scoop from my neck of the woods...

MRI

I'm getting an MRI done next Monday. I've been diagnosed Cubital Tunnel Syndrome and the docs want to see how bad it is. I'm afraid I'll need surgery.

Support Raising

My support raising has slowed down slightly, but I've had some recent boosts which has been good. I haven't raised enough support to even cover my basic living expenses (e.g. food, rent, utilities, etc.). I'm hoping by the end of November I'll break even. It's purely God's grace that I'm still able to eat food.

Debt

I'm trying not to go into debt while support raising, which is incredibly hard since I can barely afford food. I'm trying to hold out and eating my savings in the mean time.

Sleep (or lack thereof)

I've been so stressed lately that I have not been sleeping well, which, in it of itself, has caused major problems throughout the day. I'm grinding my teeth, having unusual cravings, and my emotional energy has gotten really low.

Emotional Trauma

There is just so much going on right now, that I can't emotionally keep up. I'm having large mood swings, which is really hard when I'm constantly going from one thing to another. And it doesn't help that people are just dropping like flies out there.

Church Presentation

I have a very big church presentation on Sunday...which is the big stresser right now....

So, with all that said, where does that leave this post? Well, I need a lot of prayer. I can't believe how much has happened in the last DAY let alone this week. Please pray that God will give me peace about everything. I really want to believe that God is sovereign...and that he sees the things I can't see. And that he is still here, with me, crying with me, let me know that everything is okay.

I really just need a vacation.

The power to affect CHANGE!!!

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 18:32:21 GMT

My suggestion for improving tag support is being worked on!! That's so cool!!!

Look for it at a client near you!

wow...so that's what it's like to work a full day...

Sun, 16 Oct 2005 01:02:07 GMT

Now that I'm feeling better, I spent 10 hours today working on all the back-logged paperwork I had to do. 10 friggin' hours! Man, I really hate it...but, the good news is that it's all done.

I also worked a little more on my web site. I figured out how to do this really cool thing with CSS. If you go to my web site and look for links that go outside the site, a cool icon should show up. It's the "external link" icon from wikipedia. I'll soon be embedding new CSS stuff as time goes on...I didn't realize how cool I could make it.

well, I'm going to bread now...good night all!

I need a bucket

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 20:50:50 GMT

so I'm still sick.

And it's worse. I went to the doctors today and turns out that I got a sinus infection. Which sucks because it makes me really dizzy.

So in the last week, I've spent more hours watching TV than I have since I've graduated. It's quite sad, really.

I've been too dizzy, until about today, to do any sort of computer work.

So, in the world of doing absolutely nothing, I stumbled upon one of the greatest links in all of the Internet:
http://exploration.grc.nasa.gov/balloon/blob.htm

Check it out...

Dear Jennifer...

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 10:58:28 GMT

Dear Jen,

When I first heard about your divorce, I was quite shocked. I thought you and Brad were perfect for each other. I've never been married, but I know that it can't be easy and I'm sure you feel hurt and betrayed.

Just know, that there's a nice guy in Maryland if you ever want to chat. Feel free to give me a call or shot me an e-mail. I'll be there for you...

I'm feeling silly now that I'm feeling better...:-)